Life, location, and disillusion

Sometimes I wish I were anywhere but here. At times I wish that I had a different life with different friends just to know what it was like. And then there are times when I wish I had a different life because I become disillusioned with what I have. Would life be different if I weren't here? Would the disillusion be less potent in a different place or in a different life? Probably not, but I still wonder.

Just follow your nose

I'm sick and tired, literally. I've caught a cold and my nose, throat, and even my ears hurt. It's that painful feeling as though someones run a cheese grader all over. My nose is running left and right and I can't go anywhere without my hankie. Which brings me to ask, why don't they make hankies out of softer material? And why hasn't anyone thought of the already-worn-in hankie . . . or perhaps the distressed hankie (since that's basically what distressed jeans are, right?)? Is that my next calling, to become the inventor and distributor of the distressed hankie? A tempting thought since I do like handkerchiefs but I don't know that everyone else likes them as much as I do.

Another question I've been pondering over the last couple of days, why does the sun feel so much warmer when it's shining on your back? Have you noticed that?

Homework is the enemy

In this moment I hate Japanese, not the language itself but . . . well yes the language, but more my language class and even more specifically my homework. In other words I hate homework, big surprise. It's just that it's particularly difficult today and I feel like my head is going to explode. We have to answer some mock job interview questions. These are questions that I have trouble answering in English let alone in Japanese, where my ever diminishing vocabulary (use it or lose it, and I'm losing it) puts me at a huge disadvantage. Ugh! UGH!

I hate that this is what bilingualism gets boiled down to, or more precisely it's what my bilingualism gets judged upon. I can talk about random unrelated topics for days but when people ask me serious questions I'm stumped, mostly because I want to express myself in a certain way (it's the latent perfectionist streak in me) but get all tongue-tied and can't, which makes me frustrated, etc etc. You get the picture.

In my head I keep urging myself on by saying, "This will be helpful in the future. You'll really need this." Sadly enough that is probably true of this, unlike many of the other things that I study in school. But I still don't want to do it . . . can't I just say the dog ate my homework and be done with it?

Dreams are weird

Highlights from my dream last night:

1. Being dive-bombed by a hooded, caped chipmunk
2. A life-threatening lack of dental floss

Need I say more?

Resolutions

I know it's already half way through January but I figured I can still discuss New Years resolutions since it's only two weeks into the new year. To be honest I haven't really been making resolutions for several years now. I never seemed to follow through on them, mostly because they have usually entailed making myself do something I really didn't want to do. Don't resolutions tend to be like that? How many people resolve to lose weight, stop consuming something like chocolate, meat, or soda-pop, or perhaps cut down on sugar, and then there are the work-out resolutions and drink more water resolutions, etc etc. I mean really aren't these things that we don't want to do or find hard to actually make ourselves do? I figure I need more motivation than the mere changing of a year to make big, hard changes like that in my life.

So, this year I decided to make resolutions that would be easy to follow through on because they are things that I actually want to do but just haven't been able to do a lot of lately.

Resolution #1: Go to more rock shows.
Resolution #2: Drink more good beer.

I kept it down to two simple resolutions. And what do you know, I'm already following through on my resolutions. I've already been to a rock show and I've definitely had more beer in the past 2 weeks than I had in the last 3 months of last year. So, I feel like my theory on resolutions is working out well so far. Plus I get to feel good about myself for following through on something as well as for doing things that make me happy - it's a win win situation.

Happy Birthday Blythe!

Happy Birthday Blythe!

I hope you had a sweet day even without birthday cake. And one of these days we'll actually spend one of our birthdays together, no?

It was such a gray day, such funny light, but lovely as Paris always is. I hope we get to go again some day (and perhaps next time my shoes won't fall apart!), since there's no one I'd rather explore Paris with than you. Besides, who else would indulge me with ice cream on Ile Saint Louis in the middle of winter? Miss you terribly.

Plunger . . . I love you, I love you not

It's been a long night, at least the last couple hours have felt that way. I've been wrestling the toilet, not literally . . . well maybe literally. The toilet is a little temperamental and I've been working away with the plunger. It's not a particularly pretty scene but it's reality. Well, the true reality is that dear Anna dropped several bobby pins and a pair of tweezers in the toilet a while back and let them get flushed instead of picking them out. The plumbing hasn't been the same since but there's no point crying over spilt milk. I'm debating whether to call a professional plumber or not. After all, I can only play plumber for so long before I lose my temper and start flinging the plunger at the kitchen sink. Maybe if I had a pretty plunger like this being an amateur plumber would be more fun.

Do I ever learn? Apparently not.

So, two hours ago I was all primed to do homework and be super prepared for class tomorrow but has that happened? Of course not. Instead I've been putting together a birthday package for a friend, eating chunks of chocolate from my hidden stash, wandering through cyberspace, and contemplating blogging. I'm also contemplating a brewery crawl, cutting my own hair, writing fellowship essays, and knitting mittens - although not necessarily in that order.

In other news the house two doors down from us has been replaced by a giant pit. That's right a pit. They tore the house down in a matter of hours (which left me somewhere between awed, impressed, and disgusted) and after the bulldozer-crane machine worked at it for a couple days all that remains is a double tiered pit. It's not entirely clear what's going to happen to the space (my vote is for a swimming pool, I mean they've already dug the hole right?) but I'd guess that they're building mini-apartments which means even more people to compete with for parking. Does that sound cynical? Well, what can I say, I'm cynical girl in a cynical world.

Another cynical procrastinator, exactly what the world needs.

How have I lived without technicolor afro dogs?

This just gives me the giggles, and it's even funnier if you understand Japanese (although it's still pretty funny even if you don't get the subtle comic nuances that are in Japanese).

Snow, sugar, knish?

While everybody else back east (or really back 'mid-west') is basking in the glow of uncannily warm weather - except for the very few ruing the un-wintery climate - here in Seattle it is freakishly cold. It snowed today . . . twice apparently, once in the morning and once in the evening. The evening snow was lovely, I was out walking at the time. There were nickle and dime size flakes of fluffy sticky snow that clung to everything and made the world look all winter wonderland-ish, like it had all been turned upside down and dipped in a sugar bowl. I love sugar . . . .

In other news, I reached a certain level of baking triumph. I made some rather tasty knishes. I think I've discussed my love of pocket like bread or dumpling foods and knishes fall into that category. My knishes had potatoes, broccoli, and onions inside and were simply delicious. I haven't quite mastered the wrapping up part so there was a bit of excess dough on top but that didn't bother me so much. The only tragic part about them was that in my hurry to eat them, I burned the roof of my mouth on the potato filling which was quite hot. Despite my food related injury I persevered and kept eating, really I couldn't stop which should probably be attributed to sheer stupidity instead of anything resembling perseverance.

Happy New Year!

It's just another gray morning here in Seattle but I'm sure in other places it's a fabulous new day full of sunshine and warmth, so much more welcoming of the new year. Why didn't I decide to go to school in a warmer climate?

Usually I party up New Years in style, mostly because I'm in Japan and New Years is a major holiday there, perhaps even the major holiday of the year. This year though I spent a quite and uneventful New Years sitting on the floor of my living room doing work and watching Emma. There's nothing like editing syllabi and Jane Austen to ring in the New Year. I'll make up for the lack of partying some other day I'm sure, but for now I'm content to go for a walk in the neighborhood and admire the empty bottles of cheap champagne laying in peoples lawns.