It certainly is Friday . . . and thank God for that!

I've been at work all of 2 hours and I'm already a bit of a mess. Well, really I was a bit of a mess before I got to work and it became clear how much of a mess once I got here.

During my walk to work is when I first noticed something was awry. The wind in DC this morning is just fierce! It's icy cold and strong. I almost got pushed off the sidewalk by the wind when I was waiting for the light to change! While I was walking in the wind I realized I really should have worn a slip with my skirt because corduroy and tights tend to stick. So not only is my skirt being pulled in odd directions because of the wind, its being pulled around by my tights - not pretty and rather uncomfortable. Now as I'm walking down the hallway at work I feel self-conscious about the little hike my skirt is taking up my leg!

Shortly after getting to work, while sitting at my desk catching up on e-mail, I took a quick look down at my hands and noticed that I have what looks like a rash or tiny ruptured vessels in my finger tips! Right away I think that I must be having an allergic reaction to something I've touched. As I'm thinking through all the things I've touched since getting to work that might have caused a reaction I realize that while reading my e-mail I was folding and refolding a Post-it note that I had written on in purple ink. *sigh* Really. I was starting to mildly flip out over ink on my finger tips.

After I had finished running a couple errands around the office - dropping off supplies, getting some water, making some copies, all the while worrying about my skirt riding up my leg - I get back to my desk mildly annoyed by something scratching my lower back. Assuming that it was a clothing label sticking up in an awkward direction I go to fix it but instead of a soft piece of fabric I feel cardboard. What? It slowly dawns on me, I haven't cut the tag out off my skirt! I'm wearing it price tag, spare buttons, and all. Lovely. I've had it in my closet so long that it didn't even occur to me that the price tag might still be in it.

Really, so ridiculous. And it's not even lunch time yet! All I can say is thank goodness it's Friday and that I'll have the weekend to regain my sense and sanity.

Why, hello there!

It has been over a year since I last posted. And I can only humbly apologize to those of you who have faithfully followed the blog, checking in from time to time. Shortly after my last post I was offered the job that I interviewed for, accepted said job, went to Japan for 10 days for a visit and a wedding, and then moved to the opposite side of the country to start my new job. Since then life has been spent speeding along in the fast lane and the blog has been forgotten on the shoulder of the road. From time to time I'd think about posting but something would come up between the time of the thought and getting to a computer to actually post. Lately though the urge to post has increased manifold which leads us to the present. I won't recap the past year that would be . . . well, not tedious but close . . . so it's all "upwards and onwards" from here on out.

And with a gust of wind . . .

And with a gust of wind autumn has arrived. During the middle of the week it was still humid and warm as it rained but today it was chilly and blustery. The gusts of wind were so strong today that the power went out at work. We were operating in the dark, which was amusing to say the least. We had brought in our usual welcome sign, Mitten Man, earlier in the day because he'd had two rather unpleasant encounters with the pavement, he biffed it and biffed it good. So, from the outside with the lights out we looked closed. People kept walking in and saying, "Are you guys open?" or worse, "Are you guys going out of business?" The smart-ass in me wanted to retort, "Um, did you read the sign on the door that says OPEN?" Needless to say I restrained myself. Business had to be conducted in the old fashioned way though, hand written receipts and the big clunky credit card imprinters. One customer gleefully announced upon seeing the credit card machine, "Whoa, I haven't seen one of those in like 15 years when I used to go shopping with my mom!" Shopping for yarn in the dark isn't very productive though, unless you know exactly what you're looking for, which is rare except for the most disciplined of knitters. Thankfully the power was back before the end of the day. I had a chilly and windy walk home from work. It's a pleasant sort of chill when the sky is the color of navy blue velvet and lined with the palest shade of orange. It makes me want to curl up and knit a cozy sweater to warm up my chilly limbs but leave just the tip of my nose still a little wind chilled. And so sweater season has officially arrived too.

Alone

I've never minded being alone. I don't know if that's because I'm an only child and have spent a fair amount of time by myself or if it's just the person that I am. Frankly, there are plenty of times when I prefer to be alone. There is a certain amount of comfort in the freedom of being by oneself. I like both the anonymity of being alone in a swarming crowd of strangers in the city and the isolation of being alone when standing on a deserted lakeshore. I think most of all I like being alone because it rarely lets me down. I know exactly what to expect and don't have to be disappointed by raised hopes. It is heartbreaking to be with people, to share time with them, and yet feel completely alone. The pain is even more acute when those people are friends, people that one should feel at home with and enjoy spending time with. Perhaps I seek solitude because it's easier and I'd rather not face disappointment. Does that make me cowardly or practical?

Whatever happened to 'no take backs'?

It's the quintessential rule of all childhood games, "no take backs!!" I seem to remember it applying to all games regardless of whether it made sense or not. For example, a game of hide and seek with 'no take backs,' tag with 'no take backs,' kick the can with 'no take backs,' etc. I mean seriously, what is there to take back in hide and seek?! Children are curious creatures.

Anyway, the aforementioned job interview has been 'taken back,' if you will. Apparently, they can do phone interviews and since that is the case they don't need me to fly out there just yet. On one hand it's sort of a relief, on the other it's a little bit confusing and intimidating. I am glad that I don't have to fly out there on such short notice without being sure of how good of a chance I have of actually getting this job. I am curious though as to why they've changed their minds (or if they've changed their minds). Whatever the case, I'm still pretty excited about the whole thing. But I'll admit when I was reading the e-mail from them, the little impish child in my head was running around pouting and shouting "but no takes backs! no take backs!" and the impish almost-adult in me was wistfully thinking "whatever happened to 'no take backs'?"

Exciting news and close encounters of the squirrel kind

Today was unintentionally exciting . . . which sounds odd since I suppose we don't exactly go about having intentionally exciting days. Anyways, my point is that it was an exciting day.

Things started out pretty normally with a walk to campus to pick up box lids to use to pack up some of my bosses files then hopping on the bus to go to her place to pack the boxes. Then midday I had a brief phone interview about a job I'd applied for a little while back . . . and now they want me to come in for a real interview! I'm trying really hard to not get too excited about this but . . . I can't help myself. I wasn't really expecting to hear back from them in the first place so getting the request for a phone call was a big surprise. I'm not going to say anything else about it though, if I talk too much about it I'll just work myself up over something that will probably end up being nothing. The interview does involve flying across the country though so I hope that I have some chance of actually getting this job . . . because it would just be mean of them to make me fly across the country to interview if they're not seriously considering me.

To get back to my exciting day, when I got back home I got a phone call from the shop saying that there was a package for me there. I was a little confused as to why anyone would send me something addressed to the shop but it all became clear when my co-worker told me it was from Blythe! As a former employee there herself Blythe would know that even if I wasn't working the day it got there someone would call me about the package. So what was in the package you ask? Well, my birthday present of course! It's only two months late but no matter. I got some delightful peanut butter cookies and a handcrafted bowl made by the guy who sells his wares next to Blythe's farm at their farmer's market.

The excitement of the day wound down with an encounter with an overly friendly squirrel in the park behind my house. I was sitting on a bench having a late afternoon snack of a boysenberry milkshake (oh so delicious!) and french fries when I noticed that the squirrels that had been chasing each other around the nearby tree trunk had stopped chasing one another and were making their way onto the grass. One of them kept getting closer and closer to me. He's stop and rear up on his hind legs and sort of look at me and then take a few steps (or maybe hops since its a squirrel) closer. He was definitely eying my fries. The first couple of times I'd move he'd scamper off but never too far. Finally, he was within two feet of me and I had to shoo him off multiple times while lecturing him on the fact that he should not be that bold or unafraid of humans because it really wasn't safe for him. I can't figure out if he was too young to know better or if people have been feeding the squirrels so they're getting used to people. In either case its not very good situation, wild animals should be admired from afar and should lead their own wild lives.

The space between here and there

I'm about to dash out the door and off to work (and by 'work' I mean my play job not a 'real' job - I don't know why I need to differentiate but somehow it felt necessary after conversations that I've been having lately), but I wanted to post a short update to my life. So, still indecisive about my life I'm living temporarily with a friend/my boss. It was strange to get back from a short visit to Michigan and be staying in a place that didn't feel quite my own. I feel as though just I'm a visitor here, not only in my room but in Seattle too. Is that strange?

There is part of me that wants to run back to Michigan (not literally) and hide out in the house there, comfortable amongst all of my belongings and familiar surroundings. How can location be so important to a person? The only thing that has changed here is my actual living space, otherwise I live only a few blocks from my old apartment, in the same neighborhood, amongst all my familiar surroundings. Is it really so important to find a space and a place for oneself? I guess it is.

Indecision is my enemy

Yes, indecision truly is my enemy and yet also my constant companion. If I haven't mentioned it before, then I should make it clear now, I am very indecisive. At the moment I'm being indecisive about my own life, more specifically my living situation. My lease runs up the end of this month and I need to move out of my apartment. The plans that I had made fell through and now I am in the position of needing to decide whether I should rent a room from my boss, get a place of my own knowing that I may have to break the lease I sign, or find other people to live with who I can't make longterm living commitments to either. The reason behind the indecision is that I don't know where I'm going to be in two months time, I may still be living here in Seattle or I may be in another city or even another country. Basically I will be wherever I get a job and since I haven't committed myself to staying in Seattle that could be anywhere. Admittedly, life would be easier if I just decided to stay here in Seattle but . . . well, I'm just not sure that I'm willing to limit myself to the Seattle job market. They say that the world is my oyster and I'm taking that to heart . . . foolishly, perhaps. Anyway, comments and suggestions on the subject are welcome.

And in case you were in doubt, I am back in Seattle now. Having not posted in nearly two months you might think I was still in Kobe, but no, I was only there for 10 days.

Somewhere between hot and not

So, I flew into Japan last night and am now back at home in Kobe. It's been a while since I was in Japan in the summer, a conscious choice on my part since I'm a wimp when it comes to humidity. I had been hoping that since it's still pretty early in the summer the humidity wouldn't be so bad but that was wishful thinking. It's not as humid as it could be but it's still humid, enough so to make it feel warmer than it actually is. The temperature actually feels like a bizarre halfway point between being lukewarm and hot, if that makes sense. It's not a searing crisp heat but a heat that seems to hang in the air, like the heat of a sauna or, closer yet, the heat you feel when you're soaking just your feet in hot water for an extended period of time.

Anyway, besides the heat, things are chugging along at a rapid pace without time for me to consider jetlag. Since my trip is so short, I'm carrying a very full schedule which is, I think, a good thing since I'll be making the most of my time here. And so I go to start my day full of things to do and people to see.

Catastrophe avoided . . .

But let me tell you, it was a close shave. My roommate didn't return my calls or get my e-mail. I ended going back to my apartment, saving my paper on my flashdrive yet again, and trekking back to school (all in the span of 30 minutes!). The formatting was all wonky so I had to edit before printing but I had the warm printed pages in my hands as I ran up to the faculty mailroom just in time to stop them from locking the door! So, my paper is in my prof's mailbox . . . safe and sound. And so catastrophe was avoided . . .

Oh catastrophe!

Okay, so maybe catastrophe is a little over the top but I feel like I'm pretty close. I'm supposed to be submitting a paper in 45 minutes. I brought it on my flashdrive to school to print it out only to discover that I didn't actually save it to my flashdrive . . . dum dum dum!! I would be panicking if I weren't so disgusted with my own stupidity. Now, I'm trying to get a hold of my roommate so she can e-mail my paper to me from my laptop. These are moments when I really, and I mean REALLY, wish she didn't always ignore her phone. Let's hope I get a hold of her in time!

Oh, the sweet smell of success

Seriously though, if success had a scent what do you think it would smell of? For me, it would smell of warmth, rich spices, a hint of citrus - preferable oranges, and a dash of vanilla.

So, I finished my MA theses defense about 45 minutes ago and am now officially the holder of a MA in Japan Studies. I was so nervous before and during the defense that I'm having a hard time recalling what I was asked and what I said in response. I'm sure once I've settled back down to normal adrenaline levels I'll remember though.

What next, you ask? Well, now I should finish work for my classes that I'm currently taking . . . however, I've fallen slightly behind in that and have doubts of my being able to turn anything in on time. But I'm not going to let that rain on my parade . . . even though it will perpetuate that gnawing nervous sensation in my stomach for a while until I'm actually finished with everything. Perhaps I should find some sustenance to alleviate the stomach nerves temporarily . . . a digestive distraction, if you will.

Nerves

So, tomorrow is a big day for me. I defend my Master's theses (yes, that would be "thesis" x 2) and have my comprehensive oral exam. It's only scheduled to be an hour long and my advisors have both said that I should be fine but I can't help but be nervous. This is the culmination of all my work for the past two years and it boils down to one hour . . . I think a case of the jitters is called for, don't you? We'll see how it goes, I'll keep you posted.

Multiracial in America

Because this is who I am . . .

Multiracial in America
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24765917

Lists make life easier

It's not so much that I forgot that I had a blog but . . . well, yes, from time to time I forget to keep this going.

Things that I've been thinking about the last couple of days:

1. The intoxicating smell of lilies that wafts through the living room. Even though there are only a few of them in the bouquet on the table, they manage to permeate the whole room. As I sit on the couch, I'm bowled over by their musky scent and for moments on end I am lost in that smell and can think of nothing else.
2. The comfortable coolness of the evening air as it pours through the window. Now that the days get warmer, the contrast in temperature between day and night is once again comfortable and that is a true sign of summer.
3. The uncomfortable reality of needing to find gainful employment. Apparently I can't be a student forever.
4. I miss my friend Casey. Sydney really is too far away from Seattle.
   
5. I'm really not looking forward to next Tuesday because that's the day that I have the oral defense of my thesis (x2), I need to submit my final paper for one of my classes, and then I need submit written reflections on all the reading assignments for my other class. That's a lot of organized work to turn in on one day.

That's my story lately . . .

April showers bring May flowers

The weather is crazy out here. It snowed - yes, SNOWED - over the weekend. We've already had crocuses, daffodils, cherry blossoms, tulips, and weather in the high 60s and then it snows?! I don't think this is what they had in mind for 'April showers.'

Falling off the wagon

The title is self explanatory and I apologize to those of you who are faithful readers. Life has been (and still is, really) just a little crazy over the past month. Here are some short lists to illustrate the current state of affairs in my life . . .

Things I should be doing:

1. Working on the glossary for my boss' book
   
2. Reading about early Mahayana Buddhist scripture
3. Reading about postwar Japanese history - yes, it's broad but I haven't looked at my syllabus since the class started so I have no idea what I'm supposed to be reading at the moment. "Bad form young lady," you say? Yes, I would agree.
4. Writing up thesis number 2 . . . yes, there are two to be written
   

Things I'd like to be doing:

1. Finishing up the knitted T that I started just before spring break
2. Baking cookies for Sarah's birthday - 'cause I ate all the cookies I initially baked for her
3. Watching the rest of Season 4 of The West Wing - I love the public library!
4. Knitting of any and all sorts
5. Shoe shopping

What I'm actually doing:

1. Posting
2. Contemplating how much longer my laptop will survive (it's almost 5!)
3. Making unrealistic plans to get up early tomorrow and go to the library to do work
4. Ruing MS Word and it's malfunctioning ways
   

My reality is so far off from where I should be . . . if only there were a couple extra hours in the day and laptops (or cash) grew on trees.

More snippets

I should write about this before I forget. I had a most fantastically strange dream the day before yesterday. The strangeness isn't unusual, if you've know me for any amount of time then you'll know that my dreams are all quite bizarre. So, without going into the entire dream I'll just tell you all how it ended and the particular bit that my roommate found hilarious in my recounting of it.

"So, her mom walked up the stairs and onto the roof. And we just knew inherently that she wanted us to empty all the food out of our tupperware onto the ground below to make a trampoline for us to jump down onto. "

It's not the strangest dream I've had but it's up there. That bit sounds crazier without the context of the rest of the dream but it just gets too long. But be rest assured that the necessity of a trampoline was real. In case you're curious, the food in the tupperware was linguine and green beans . . . and lots of it too.

Snippets

I love the small pieces of conversation that can be overheard when walking about campus. A priceless piece from this morning.

"Hi Ryan, I just finished writing a 16 page paper on Nancy Drew."

Now, if I were in the children's literature section of the library or the school of education or anywhere else where children's literature would be a topic of academic conversation this might not seem so odd but I overheard it while walking through the halls of the Computer Science & Engineering Building. The nature of computer science must have really changed since the last time I looked into it.

Politics and failure

Yes, it's the middle of the night and yes, I should be sleeping but it's my favorite time of day to catch up on my blog reading. I'm busy following everyone else's political commentary. I must admit that I haven't quite made up my mind about who I'm supporting this time around. The Washington Caucus was over the weekend and many of the candidates were in town. I had several students miss section on Friday because they were going to hear candidates speak. For most of them I was quite happy that they were off having such a great experience and I look forward to what they have to tell me about it. There was one student however (who has yet to show up to any of his sections) who blithely wrote me an e-mail to say he had missed section to go to the Obama rally and had he missed anything important. Anything important?! "Um . . . dude, you're failing this class right now, why don't you try and change that?"