Oh, Mr. Darcy!

I'm just about to settle down to watch Pride & Prejudice. And yes, I know it's the middle of the night and I have class tomorrow but I don't care. I'm a grown-up (most of the time) and I can do whatever I want to! Besides who can resist the romance of Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy? I once read somewhere that Pride & Prejudice is the quintessential love story and that every other love story thereafter is just a different rendition of it. I don't know that I agree with that but there are certainly plenty of stories that have been modeled upon it. There are so many commentaries to be made on the novel and the novelist, not the least of which is the fact that Jane Austen was ahead of her time as a female writer, but I haven't time to go into it all here and now. I just want to say that despite what some people may say the sole appeal of the story isn't that it is a romance with a happy ending, there is so much more to it than that. Isn't part of the appeal that we can see ourselves reflected in one if not several of the characters in the story? It was written in a different time and place and yet the characters are still accessible to people today. I find that to be true of all of Austen's novels. Superficially they may seem to be love stories but each of them is a study of people, of character, and there is so much to be gleaned from that even now.

Okay enough with the sensible talking, I want to ooh and aah over the dancing and dresses at the ball and listen to Elizabeth and Mr Darcy's spicy repartee!

Seriously, corn dogs?

So, I've seen two people eating corn dogs in as many days. Now this wouldn't be odd if I lived say in baseball stadium or a beer tent but this is the U-district, granted college students don't have the best diets but I don't think corn dogs rank high on their list of favorite foods either. Besides who walks around eating corn dogs anywhere but at a carnival or as a guilty secret alone in their apartment? Personally I find corn dogs repulsive so maybe this is just a reflection of my bias towards them, can you blame me? They're totally unnatural, processed meat on a stick is one thing but processed meat on a stick covered in a hybrid between bread and batter is just wrong. Ick!

How does your garden grow

Anna got motivated the other day and went to the Swanson's nursery. When I came home from class there were stacks of pots and a large bag of potting soil on the dining table. Apparently she's planning on planting some tomatoes, green peppers, and chives. We really don't have very much natural light in the apartment so I don't know how the seeds are going to sprout but that's not for me to worry about. I'll leave that up to Anna's ambition.

What I have noticed though is that the eating nook and the hallway now have an earthy smell from the potting soil. I can catch wafts of it as I walk by. It wouldn't bother me except for the fact that being in a basement and smelling the scent of earth makes me feel like we live in an unfinished basement. And I am faced with the momentary fear that if I open my bedroom door I'll find an unfinished dark and dank dirt floored room instead of my cozy bedroom.

None the less the idea of planting things makes me feel like spring really is around the corner. The crocuses are out and in bloom here. It's the first sign of spring, right? I should be daydreaming of warm weather and wearing sandals and flowy skirts but instead I find myself thinking fondly of gardening and yard work. I miss having a real yard, not that I did a lot of yard work when I had one but at least I had the option of doing it if I wanted to. Options are important, even if I can't make decisions when I have options.

Being lost

Anonymous said...

I guess you are lost, caught in limbo between more than just japan and the midwest.

Yes, I am lost and I'll be the first to admit it. I'm lost and always looking for what is familiar, for where I am supposed to be. I search for certitude, even though I know it probably doesn't exist. But the idea that it could be out there is both comforting and intriguing. Does anyone have absolute certainty though? Isn't it only human to doubt ourselves? It would be frightening to have absolute certitude and have no doubts or questions of our actions, don't you think?

I think we are all a little lost. It's just a part of being alive.

Move me

I'm always surprised by how much art in any form can move me. Books that make me want to drop everything and travel to a far off place just to feel the air there. Music that makes me want to be in love. Films that break my heart and move me to true sadness. Stories that make me want to be a better person, to do more than I would have ever expected of myself or anyone else. Sculpture that bates my breath, making me feel as though I've seen beauty for the first time. And paintings, drawings, and photographs that transport me through every memory, reliving moments in my life so vividly that I can feel them all over again.

What is it that makes all of this so real to me? Sometimes I think that I should have pursued art. At various times in my life I wanted to be an architect, a poet, a musician, a photographer, a novelist, and a filmmaker, among other things. It's not too late to do any or all of these things. But there is a part of me that knows I couldn't, because I couldn't fight for them. Would I fight for what is beautiful as hard as I would fight for what is right and just? It seems an overly broad question, a question that in this context may not even make sense to anyone but myself. I think though that it's a question that is always in the back of my mind guiding the decisions that I make. I've loved beauty as long as I can remember but I feel duty toward what is right and just. Which is stronger, love or duty? They pull me in such opposite directions that I wonder if I'd ever be happy going just one way. Perhaps that's why I wander the middle ground.

Friday, Friday

Okay, so it's mid-day and I should clearly be concentrating on work but I just had to share. The sad thing is that I got distracted right after I started the post and now 20 minutes later I can't remember what it is that I was going to say. Sad or pathetic? My brain really is turning into a sieve. Or maybe its just a case of Friday-itis.

I'm feeling peckish

My, my, I have been remiss in posting lately. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with school (and apparently I can't type either, I kept typing 'wchool,' 3 tries before I got it right!) at the moment and all I really want to do is sleep.

I've been thinking longingly of Japanese pastries lately. Two that stand out in my mind at the moment are the little manju shaped like chicks that are filled with sweet yellow bean paste


and dorayaki which are like little pancake sandwiches filled with sweet red bean paste and sometimes candied chestnuts.


They may not sound particularly scrumptious from that description but the thought of them with a cup of hot Japanese tea is making my mouth water.

Life, location, and disillusion

Sometimes I wish I were anywhere but here. At times I wish that I had a different life with different friends just to know what it was like. And then there are times when I wish I had a different life because I become disillusioned with what I have. Would life be different if I weren't here? Would the disillusion be less potent in a different place or in a different life? Probably not, but I still wonder.

Just follow your nose

I'm sick and tired, literally. I've caught a cold and my nose, throat, and even my ears hurt. It's that painful feeling as though someones run a cheese grader all over. My nose is running left and right and I can't go anywhere without my hankie. Which brings me to ask, why don't they make hankies out of softer material? And why hasn't anyone thought of the already-worn-in hankie . . . or perhaps the distressed hankie (since that's basically what distressed jeans are, right?)? Is that my next calling, to become the inventor and distributor of the distressed hankie? A tempting thought since I do like handkerchiefs but I don't know that everyone else likes them as much as I do.

Another question I've been pondering over the last couple of days, why does the sun feel so much warmer when it's shining on your back? Have you noticed that?

Homework is the enemy

In this moment I hate Japanese, not the language itself but . . . well yes the language, but more my language class and even more specifically my homework. In other words I hate homework, big surprise. It's just that it's particularly difficult today and I feel like my head is going to explode. We have to answer some mock job interview questions. These are questions that I have trouble answering in English let alone in Japanese, where my ever diminishing vocabulary (use it or lose it, and I'm losing it) puts me at a huge disadvantage. Ugh! UGH!

I hate that this is what bilingualism gets boiled down to, or more precisely it's what my bilingualism gets judged upon. I can talk about random unrelated topics for days but when people ask me serious questions I'm stumped, mostly because I want to express myself in a certain way (it's the latent perfectionist streak in me) but get all tongue-tied and can't, which makes me frustrated, etc etc. You get the picture.

In my head I keep urging myself on by saying, "This will be helpful in the future. You'll really need this." Sadly enough that is probably true of this, unlike many of the other things that I study in school. But I still don't want to do it . . . can't I just say the dog ate my homework and be done with it?

Dreams are weird

Highlights from my dream last night:

1. Being dive-bombed by a hooded, caped chipmunk
2. A life-threatening lack of dental floss

Need I say more?

Resolutions

I know it's already half way through January but I figured I can still discuss New Years resolutions since it's only two weeks into the new year. To be honest I haven't really been making resolutions for several years now. I never seemed to follow through on them, mostly because they have usually entailed making myself do something I really didn't want to do. Don't resolutions tend to be like that? How many people resolve to lose weight, stop consuming something like chocolate, meat, or soda-pop, or perhaps cut down on sugar, and then there are the work-out resolutions and drink more water resolutions, etc etc. I mean really aren't these things that we don't want to do or find hard to actually make ourselves do? I figure I need more motivation than the mere changing of a year to make big, hard changes like that in my life.

So, this year I decided to make resolutions that would be easy to follow through on because they are things that I actually want to do but just haven't been able to do a lot of lately.

Resolution #1: Go to more rock shows.
Resolution #2: Drink more good beer.

I kept it down to two simple resolutions. And what do you know, I'm already following through on my resolutions. I've already been to a rock show and I've definitely had more beer in the past 2 weeks than I had in the last 3 months of last year. So, I feel like my theory on resolutions is working out well so far. Plus I get to feel good about myself for following through on something as well as for doing things that make me happy - it's a win win situation.

Happy Birthday Blythe!

Happy Birthday Blythe!

I hope you had a sweet day even without birthday cake. And one of these days we'll actually spend one of our birthdays together, no?

It was such a gray day, such funny light, but lovely as Paris always is. I hope we get to go again some day (and perhaps next time my shoes won't fall apart!), since there's no one I'd rather explore Paris with than you. Besides, who else would indulge me with ice cream on Ile Saint Louis in the middle of winter? Miss you terribly.

Plunger . . . I love you, I love you not

It's been a long night, at least the last couple hours have felt that way. I've been wrestling the toilet, not literally . . . well maybe literally. The toilet is a little temperamental and I've been working away with the plunger. It's not a particularly pretty scene but it's reality. Well, the true reality is that dear Anna dropped several bobby pins and a pair of tweezers in the toilet a while back and let them get flushed instead of picking them out. The plumbing hasn't been the same since but there's no point crying over spilt milk. I'm debating whether to call a professional plumber or not. After all, I can only play plumber for so long before I lose my temper and start flinging the plunger at the kitchen sink. Maybe if I had a pretty plunger like this being an amateur plumber would be more fun.

Do I ever learn? Apparently not.

So, two hours ago I was all primed to do homework and be super prepared for class tomorrow but has that happened? Of course not. Instead I've been putting together a birthday package for a friend, eating chunks of chocolate from my hidden stash, wandering through cyberspace, and contemplating blogging. I'm also contemplating a brewery crawl, cutting my own hair, writing fellowship essays, and knitting mittens - although not necessarily in that order.

In other news the house two doors down from us has been replaced by a giant pit. That's right a pit. They tore the house down in a matter of hours (which left me somewhere between awed, impressed, and disgusted) and after the bulldozer-crane machine worked at it for a couple days all that remains is a double tiered pit. It's not entirely clear what's going to happen to the space (my vote is for a swimming pool, I mean they've already dug the hole right?) but I'd guess that they're building mini-apartments which means even more people to compete with for parking. Does that sound cynical? Well, what can I say, I'm cynical girl in a cynical world.

Another cynical procrastinator, exactly what the world needs.

How have I lived without technicolor afro dogs?

This just gives me the giggles, and it's even funnier if you understand Japanese (although it's still pretty funny even if you don't get the subtle comic nuances that are in Japanese).

Snow, sugar, knish?

While everybody else back east (or really back 'mid-west') is basking in the glow of uncannily warm weather - except for the very few ruing the un-wintery climate - here in Seattle it is freakishly cold. It snowed today . . . twice apparently, once in the morning and once in the evening. The evening snow was lovely, I was out walking at the time. There were nickle and dime size flakes of fluffy sticky snow that clung to everything and made the world look all winter wonderland-ish, like it had all been turned upside down and dipped in a sugar bowl. I love sugar . . . .

In other news, I reached a certain level of baking triumph. I made some rather tasty knishes. I think I've discussed my love of pocket like bread or dumpling foods and knishes fall into that category. My knishes had potatoes, broccoli, and onions inside and were simply delicious. I haven't quite mastered the wrapping up part so there was a bit of excess dough on top but that didn't bother me so much. The only tragic part about them was that in my hurry to eat them, I burned the roof of my mouth on the potato filling which was quite hot. Despite my food related injury I persevered and kept eating, really I couldn't stop which should probably be attributed to sheer stupidity instead of anything resembling perseverance.

Happy New Year!

It's just another gray morning here in Seattle but I'm sure in other places it's a fabulous new day full of sunshine and warmth, so much more welcoming of the new year. Why didn't I decide to go to school in a warmer climate?

Usually I party up New Years in style, mostly because I'm in Japan and New Years is a major holiday there, perhaps even the major holiday of the year. This year though I spent a quite and uneventful New Years sitting on the floor of my living room doing work and watching Emma. There's nothing like editing syllabi and Jane Austen to ring in the New Year. I'll make up for the lack of partying some other day I'm sure, but for now I'm content to go for a walk in the neighborhood and admire the empty bottles of cheap champagne laying in peoples lawns.

I miss central heating

So, I'm back in Seattle already. My two weeks in Japan went by all too quickly. And now, I'm left struggling with jet-lag in my oh so cold apartment. The trick with jet-lag is to force yourself into a normal sleeping pattern. But that's easier said than done . . . after all when I got back yesterday I made myself stay up until a 'normal' bedtime and then ended up sleeping for 16 hours! I've probably made my jet-lag even worse. It just means there will be more nights of puttering around the apartment in my PJs with cups of tea . . . much as I am doing now, puttering around in my slippers, wool socks, a scarf, and a sweater. Have I mentioned that it's cold in my apartment?

Yeay it's Christmas! Now let's eat cake . . .

That's right, in Japan Christmas cake is a big deal. I don't really know how it got started, possibly a European influence since its more common to celebrate with Yule Logs in Europe and the Japanese Christmas cake phenomenon could easily be an offshoot of that. Anyway, cake is big on Christmas here. In years past I've had every intention of getting the order forms and fliers advertising said cakes to prove that this really happens here, it's not just a crazy story I'm telling about Japan. But I never manage to do it, mainly because I get back to Japan too late in the season . . . apparently the week before Christmas is terribly tardy in the game for the true connoisseur of cakes. But this year dad and I decided to get a cake of our own. I managed to snap this shot of the lovely cakes in the case while being jostled by the little old ladies rushing to get bargain priced cakes. Last minute cakes sometimes go for half price, after all who wants a Christmas cake on the day after Christmas?

And this is our very own cake. You may have noticed that it's a strawberry shortcake. It's a little strange since strawberries aren't natural winter fruit here either but I guess that's what looks pretty on a cake. The little Santa is a completely edible sugar creation. It's hard to convey the size of the cake through the photo since there's nothing to compare it to but it's about the size of a small paper plate, a rather petite cake by American standards. There were some other equally lovely cakes in the case next to this one but I couldn't even get close to take pictures, Japanese grannies can be quite pushy and all elbows when it comes to a bargain!